Do you feel like you see the world in a different light?
Do you think a lot, and feel people’s emotions, but don’t know what to do?
Do you want to learn how to understand yourself, and use your special abilities?
Recently, I found out that I’m an INFJ. Everything is starting to make a lot more sense. My life isn’t just weirdness all-over, now.
Take off the chains, cause we’re going in deep!
The good actor on stage, the copy-cat
It’s easy to mirror other people’s behaviors, just so you can fit in. But the INFJ is usually tired afterward. We need time.
Because we’re so rare (1.5% of population?!) we feel like very few people understand us. Yet we seem to know others better than they know themselves.
We can predict thought processes and sometimes even know what people are going to say, before they say it.
It’s hard being a perfectionist, and a realist at the same time. The contrast can come in handy when you’re trying to really refine your grasp on pure wisdom. But it tends to push you further away from normal-people’s paradigms.
Most people come across a problem, get stuck for a bit, and then come to a conclusion and move on.
You come to a problem, analyze it backwards and forwards, inside and out, and 2 years later you’re still wondering what else you can learn about the experience, and how you will explain it to others.
You’re good at finding insights, terrible at speaking your mind
You probably have a lot of knowledge about random stuff. But you can’t seem to figure out where it is needed. “Where does my knowledge about quantum physics and anti-gravity fit in to the 9-5 life I’m supposed to be living?!”
You hate “normal jobs” and everyone’s paradigm about reality seems like Alice in Wonderland
Just because most people read the news and listen to the radio, doesn’t mean you do. It’s not that you don’t care about all the bad things, but that last time it just overwhelmed you. And you didn’t approve the solutions.
You don’t understand when family and friends are asking you to “just calm down and get a regular job.”
You probably don’t keep up with social media or celebrities. You didn’t know what American Idol was for years.
You probably thought it was related to the Ten Commandments in the Bible.
How to Deal with your Creative-Brain and Anxiety as an INFJ
It’s because you’re in alpha brainwave state. You’re in super-creative-mode.
Your brain associates your bed with relaxed state, and creativity.
My advice is that you practice entering the alpha brainwave at a different time, and a different place. It could be as simple as sitting upright on your floor, legs-crossed, meditation for 15 minutes before bed, to sort things out.
I learned this from the book “How to break the Habit of Being You” which is also a great book on how to know your self, better.
For most people, going to bed probably is not when they get creative. “OH I’m in bed, I’m going to sleep.”
But for me, I definitely got stuck in a pattern of not being able to sleep. I would stay up for hours considering thousands of possibilities for things to do the next day. I would also make up jokes, new ways of seeing things, and so on. It became a bad habit until I stopped about a year ago.
I noticed I had this behavior, when I was teaching a Sunday school class. I mentioned, “Don’t you stay up thinking about things in bed, before sleep?” And then I realized not everyone does this, past childhood.
Now, I am can still get into creative-mode, but I find time to do it away from bed.
You hate acting, but “the world is a stage, and all the people in it are actors!”
Shakespeare was right. Maybe he was an INFJ, himself.
When you go out into the world, you notice how so many people are like programmable robots, just reacting in predictable ways.
So you start to play with their mind and tweak their algorithm, just so you’re not so bored.
And then you realize, you set out to help the world, not harm it. And you condemn yourself and ask “Why am I so selfish? Why don’t I just play by the rules?”, confusing your creativity with the world’s conception of “correctness” and “conformity” the holy-grail of a categorical-thinking society. I regress.
We Hate Categories
In the movie Divergent, the young girl chooses the faction, “Dauntless”- those who pursue bravery above all else. But even though she chooses this faction, she knows she could never commit to just one forever. INFJ’s don’t like categories because they hold us back from connecting all the dots. We see freedom in crossing and coloring outside the lines.
But don’t give up, even if you are weird/special/different.
In a Good way.
Your ability to help the world is greatly needed and appreciated. Even if you do nothing that seems helpful in “normal” terms.
Like Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood says: “I like you just the way you are.”
And, although you may feel socially awkward as an INFJ, it is still simply a category itself. You’re ability to change and grow is a spiritual-given choice. Plus, INFJ’s are good at putting on hats and faces when we need to.
Join us on the Map!
I’ve created a map, below, just for INFJ’s. If you’ve taken a test and get INFJ, find us! Together, we are strong. We can save the world, one thought at at time. Maybe even talk to each other.
Did this post help you discover yourself? Did it help you love yourself better?
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